Dangit, I knew I’d lose that staring contest.

It was that stupid clock and its distracting Ding! every 30 seconds. But those empty eyes and

cracked white face always won, hovering over me, taunting me, trying to distract me.

Stop distracting me. STOP IT.

The glass doors shook. First subtle, like a breeze pressing its fingers against the windows, then

vibrating, a low humming that crawled up your spine.

Ceiling lights sparked. The ground rumbled beneath me as if it had awoken from a deep slumber.

Darkness consumed the room. I grasped onto the takchita dresses hanging from the rack beside

me, their embroidered sleeves brushing my arms like angel wings reaching down to pull me

away. The lanterns that were strung across the outdoor bazaar painted the chaos in rays of muted

reds, oranges, and blues.

For a moment I was warm. The colors wrapped around me like a shawl, making me believe it

could’ve been a dream. Or maybe it was just a street show gone wrong. Maybe it was a prank, or

a festival trick. Maybe I would go home to the smell of poundcake waiting for me on the kitchen

table, the fluffy texture softening my anxieties.

That noise again.

Ding!

Raw screams.

A man flying through the glass doors like he was some comic book hero, arms outstretched, only

he wasn’t wearing a cape. There was no soft landing, just his back slamming into the marble and

his limbs folding wrong, glass raining down over him like a cruel kind of confetti.

My mom and her sisters huddled in a circle, pale faces surrounding a phone, wailing, trying to

find out where their brother was.

“Bilal! Bilal kider ouw!”

The name cracked in their throats.

Another scream. My aunt’s grip clutching my arm, bruising it and leaving crescent dimples

where her nails pressed.

Outside, a group of men, maybe seven, stood at the edge of the chaos. Clothed in black kurtas

trying to blend in with the night. Kaffiyahs wrapped around their faces like masks, trying to hide

their wretched smiles

But I see them.

I see them.

Their eyes.

Their teeth.

Their smile like they already won.

Ding!

BOOM

Another.

The ground convulsed, throwing mothers coddling their crying children to the ground. Car

alarms erupting. It was a symphony performance of sirens and screams being conducted by

Shaitan himself.

Lights flash, red and white, blinding any sense of sight anyone had left.

Everything is too much. Too fast.

Frantic treading, the sound of hundreds of chappals slapping the ground as families flee the area,

anticipating the next,

Ding

More screaming, piercing my eardrums like needles.

Lost in chaos I stood still- watching from the audience of some freak show. My mom, my aunts

were clutching each other, praying between sobs. The calls won’t go through. My sisters were

somewhere nearby, their faces blurred, disoriented shadows moving around the cluster of bodies.

I stared so long I saw everything turn sideways, colors smeared, sounds turned to static. For a

moment, it all went black.

Ding.

I touched my leg. Hot, wet, sticky. Blood smearing onto my hands.

It’s mine.

It’s mine.

The cold sensation came slowly, and turned into flames crawling over me. My mouth opens, no

sound comes out.

Hazy visions of women hovering over me. Hijabs swayed above my head in the frantic air. For a

second I was a newborn seeing for the first time again, blurred faces, soft murmurs, cold hands

probing at me.

They laid me at a marble column. Cold. Unforgiving.

My sisters- where are they?

Di-ng.

I heard it clatter, skipping across the marble. Nearly missing my left arm. Shattered glass, hands

still twitching forward, like nothing had happened.

You just keep going, don’t you?

No one can fix you now,

you’re shattered.

My aunt’s grip tightening around my arm. I trailed behind her as we fled to the car. My feet were

heavy, my vision shaking. I turned one last time- the men. The same ones from earlier, standing

on the hill in their black kurtas and keffiyahs. Confused, I looked in their eyes, نافذة القلب, I was

met with shattered glass.

Sweat beads that were forming along my hairline began to fall across my face, rolling down my

cheeks, mixing with blood. I could feel the dust from the air sticking to my face, my eyes giving

in at the final…

Ding!